Dexter 7-5: Sink, Swim, or Smooch a Stripper


Dexter’s world keeps spiraling out of control, as does Deb’s sanity with every fact she discovers about Dexter’s hideous past. This week’s Dexter episode, “Swim Deep,” seems pretty appropriately titled seeing as how Dexter and Deb are swimming in deep doodoo. This season is a marked improvement over last season, thanks to each character having their own story arcs to follow. Things are staying energized and excited— so excited  it almost feels like a little kid’s story when they’re talking 90 miles a minute and bouncing from topic to topic. And even though the whole, “I’m in love with my brother” thing hasn’t been talked about since last season, I still find myself uneasy and cringing every time Deb and Dexter are alone together “bonding.” Anyone else feel the same way?

Here’s your episode recap:

While cleaning his boat, talking to an imaginary hallucination of his dead dad, as we all do at some point in the day, Dexter finds Lewis’ blood. Somebody did some killing on Dex’s boat, and for once it wasn’t him!

Masuka found that LaGuerta used an outside lab to run evidence and tells Deb, who then confronts LaGuerta about it. LaGuerta spills the beans to Deb on what she’s found, and Deb offers to help, then immediately spills the beans to Dexter. LaGuerta’s creeping closer and closer to finding out who the real Bay Harbor Butcher is, and absolving our beloved Sgt. Doakes of his guilt, postmortem, so Deb pulls a classic LaGuerta move: abuses her position of power for her own personal gain, namely, burying any evidence that could lead to Dexter.


Later,  Baddy Isaak and Dexter finally lock on to each other and hunt one another down. Dexter leads Isaak into a drug cartel bar, hoping they would kill him, but he just wipes them out like a freakin’ Terminator. However, some of his blood is found on the scene, and Miami Metro, in a rare case of competency, arrests him for the murders. While incarcerated, Isaak calmly threatens Dexter some more, and Dexter stares at him like a cucumber.

Hannah McKay comes back to walk the police through her road trip with Roadkill (Wayne, her ex-BF, and the imprisoned serial killer from a previous episode) and Dexter is there to notice that Hannah is looking nostalgic at the evidence, rather than scared. While investigating the bodies of some of Roadkill’s victims, Dexter, who is now, apparently, a dead body expert in addition to being a blood spatter analyst/lab tech, figures out that Hannah killed one of them. He informs her that he knows, she basically says neener neener, which seems to give him a confused chubby.

Meanwhile Quinn, in a move that’s so Quinn, makes out with his blonde stripper friend, which is a huge breach of police protocol and the exact thing that got his ass chewed out for doing last season. The mobsters see this snogfest and leave him a bribe, assuming he’s part of the Dexter mess. Batista may be a terrible detective, but he’s good at sticking to basic police procedure. Quinn, on the other hand, is awful at everything at this point, and could star in his own sitcom about the different police protocols he bone-headedly breaks every week. Possible names for this sitcom include That’s So Quinn, Just the Quinn of Us, King of Quinns, and Quintessentially Clueless.

Lastly, Deb lets Dexter know that she can’t be a part of his life anymore, what with him killing people and her risking her career to protect his maniacal, murderous tendencies and all. Yes, Deb, we heard you the first time. How about something new to say, like “Hey, Dex, I don’t like your mole.”

Until next week, folks, Doakes ‘em if you’ve got ‘em!

Surprise, motherdumper!

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

 

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